So the week that was. The week was very dull. Nothing happen. Nothing. Phantomess did come and visit me twice but we catch up every week so it was nothing special. Everybody started University this week. Nothing exciting there either as I was not the one who was starting Uni. I am currently in what I call Limbo. I'm not doing anything with my life at the moment. Nothing. It's kind of driving me crazy because I'm not going anywhere. Either everybody is making new friends or getting boyfriends or starting Uni or getting a new job and what am I doing? I'm sitting at a Library all day playing games on my phone and reading magazines. That's all I'm doing with my life. I have no new friends and I certainly don't have a boyfriend. I have ambition. I have heaps of ambition. But nothing is helping me achieve what I want to.
As for my friends having new friends, well, let's just say that I feel like I've been pushed aside because of it. Maybe I'm just jealous because they're in a better place than I am or maybe it's because they actually have friends while I have zero. I like having friends, I'm actually quite the people pleaser but I don't like having other people's issues on top of me. I here to help but I hate it when once I've helped them they just ditch me and go off and now I'm left with this thing, this problem weighing me down. You can tell when this is happening too, I go silent and not talk, I become fidgety or when I'm by myself again I have a little breakdown or 'freakout'. None of this is right but, as I said I'm a people pleaser and I will always help people with their problems. Maybe I'm better off without friends. Hmmm, I've never really thought about being a loner. It would make things more stable but I would have no fun or laughter in my life. It's a tough thing cutting off all old friends. I haven't made a decision yet, I don't want to but I have to think of what's best for me and for my stability.
I'm getting a job. Work would be good for me actually what with the hours, the money. A job would give me the stability that I'm seeking but haven't found yet.Yeah, I think this is the way to go.
Train stations: I see the most random people there. Like a couple of days ago I ran into one of my old friends at the station. We weren't particularly close but (lets call him BG just because they're his initials) BG and I had a good chat and caught each other up to what we were doing with ourselves these days. He actually ditched this lady from his class that was talking to him. Well, maybe ditched is the wrong word, ran away from is probably a better fit for what he did. Plus we had a laugh on the train when a kid almost fell onto his lap. That priceless moment of his facial expression, I will never forget it. I also ran into someone else I knew today. He and I went to primary school together and I'll call him MP because again, they are his initials. I didn't even know it was MP until he and I were both going for the train door at the same time and I almost trip over the guy. Embarrassed, I look up and to my horror it's MP. Awkward much? So, I bet you're thinking "how is this awkward?".Well, he and I kinda had a thing but then I moved to a different school and didn't see each other for about 5ish years. Now I bet you understand why it's awkward and if not well, IT WAS AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!
Moving on. I still haven't got to The Week That Was but I kinda have as this all happened throughout my week. My week has been both good and bad. Most of my weeks seem to float into this direction of being both good and bad. I can't have a solid good week but I can have a okay week, a bad week, a meh week or a good and bad week. It was good because I'm slowly working out what's good for me and what's not and I'm working out how things are working within my life. It was bad because I still have to go through the pain of what works for me and what doesn't. Its bad because I usually find out late that things are bad for me and they have usually done their damage once I've realised.
So, the week that was. Enjoy yourself reading it since it's not very thrilling.
No comments:
Post a Comment