*Sigh*. Not what you were expecting hey? I just returned from a day at the beach and might I say that it was amazing. It was a bit of a rocky start but it all turned out in the end. Now I bet you're wondering what this title has to do with my day at the beach. Well, when I arrived people were setting up not one but two weddings. So because of this we chose a spot on the sand that was near the one of them so we could watch. While we were waiting for everything to begin I started to think of what I wanted now. This is what I found:
I found that I want to travel. A lot. I found that I don't want to settle down like I thought I did last year. Last year I thought I wanted to get married in my very early 20s, have children, buy a house and that would be it. I don't want any of that now. I want to see the world and have a career where I don't have a guy holding me down. Where I'm able to do what I want and live where I want, which is going to be in a different country. You can't do the things I want to do when you're driving your kids to soccer practice and thinking what you're going to feed your family for dinner. I found that that is the opposite of what I want. I can't wait to explore what this world has to offer. And honestly, I don't care if I ever find love or experience it. I really don't anymore. I work better and I'm a better, more in control person when I'm by myself. I have mentioned SWB on here before and I don't think I want what the group was originally about. It was originally about three girls wanting to find their prince charming and settle down pretty early. At the time I thought this was great because I had two other people, my best friends wanting the same things I did. Well, I did want those things. Once upon a time. I don't need a prince now to come and sweep me off my feet and say that he loves me. I may want it someday but I can't see it happening nor do I want it to happen. I'm happy with that because it gives me the freedom to be the person I want to be without someone else holding me back telling me that I can't do those things. But I can. I know I can.
So this brings me back to the wedding that was happening on the deck behind me. I love weddings, don't get me wrong. That hasn't changed. I love the love that is shown and I love watching the groom instead of the bride. The bride always has classic emotions but when the groom sees her for the first time in the dress and coming up the aisle to be his wife for the rest of his life, the reaction is amazing. So, I was watching the groom wait for her to arrive. He was freaking out. That is putting it lightly. He couldn't stand still nor could he walk around too much either. He would put his hands in his pockets and then out, put his sunglasses on then take them off again. He was pretty nervous. The best man also couldn't find the rings for a while so everyone was panicked over that too. They found them in the bottom of his pocket though so all was well. As I was watching them set everything up I had a feeling of what the bride might look like. I thought she would be brunette. But a dark brunette like some cheap dye job. I also thought she would be quite young as well. That was when she arrived.
When she got out of the car I wasn't surprised with what I saw. She had black hair, black bridesmaids (the dresses not the people. I'm not raciest), too much eye makeup on ( she looked like she was going clubbing not getting married), and she had the worst fake tan imaginable. She was orange. It looked worse also because she was, of course, wearing white. Also her dress and veil screamed cheap. I love a bargain believe me and I love shopping at op shops but this wouldn't be something I would be buying. She may have bought it for a fortune but it certainly didn't look like it was worth it. I must say though her veil was worse. It was cheap and you could tell. Oh well, it was outshone by her fake tan.
When the groom saw her though. He melted. It was so romantic seeing him go completely still just at the sight of her. It was like he just stopped and stared at her like she was the only person in the world. She, on the other hand, couldn't really care less. She seemed more interested in the way her dress looked than in him. It was sad to see how much love he had for her but she wasn't showing it back. Once they were married he didn't want to let go of her. He was always touching her whether it be her hand or the small of her back. She just talked to other people and didn't really look in his direction.
The wedding also seemed to be lacking something. It wasn't really full of substance like I thought it would be. I thought weddings were all about love and commitment but these two were finished in 15 minutes and walked away to a pop song. Not what I'd really call romantic.
Oh, I also just applied for a flight attendant course happening in May. I had to be 18 to do it and I'll be 18 by then. It's only 8 weeks long and after that I'll be traveling everywhere. It's not something I considered before since I'm doing something totally different right now but I thought that I might as well try and see where it takes me. I'm not able to do international flight until I'm 20 and I'm fine with that for now. Maybe it will happen or maybe it won't. I don't really care at this point and I might as well try everything and succeed than be too scared to try anything and end up with a boring job somewhere. I'll still be doing my legal and hoping something will come out of that but I might as well try everything else on the side. Plus, it gives me free travel.
If I get it, I get it. If I don't , I don't. It doesn't bother me either way. It'll a part of my life saying that I tried to be a flight attendant. It'll also be a part of my life saying that I was a legal student which I currently am. Cool. I never really thought about that before. I have to start thinking more positively. And I am, so yay me.
I shall leave it there until next time. I shall keep you up to date with my ventures.
Bye Bye everyone!
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